Ben L. J. Brooks

I’ve been quiet for a while on the blog because I’m really buckling down on the WIP. I’m at the 40k word mark out of a projected 75k words, so I’m past halfway. I’ve got a hard deadline: finished, edited, and ready by May for the LDStoryMakers conference. I’ll be pitching to Michelle Wolfson of the Wolfson Literary Agency.

I set a goal to read two books a month this year, and I’m proud to say I overachieved on that front. That may sound like a low bar, but consider that I’m attempting to write 2+ novels this year and also have a wife and four small children to tend to, and you’ll realize my time is actually rather short.

Oh, and I’ve got a day job, too.

So what did I read in January?

• THE KITCHEN GOD’S WIFE – Amy Tan. A beautifully-written haunting account of a woman’s escape from war-torn China. It languished a bit toward the end, and some of the character arcs felt a bit repetitive in the second half, but overall a book I’m happy to have on the bookshelf.
• THE ROAD - Cormac McCarthy. Also haunting, moreso than Amy Tan’s novel. This one is going to stick with me for a while. The story of a father’s struggles and journey in a post-apocalyptic world to find a safe haven for his son. McCarthy has a very unique style that may turn readers off, but I recommend you give it a spin.
• FRANKENSTEIN – Mary Shelley. This one was a surprise. I bet most people, when polled, would have no idea that the monster not only speaks, he’s actually quite intelligent. The public conception of FRANKENSTEIN based on that old virtually unrelated Universal film is quite unfortunate. So many people think this is a simple monster tale, some sort of thriller or slasher, that they skip out on what is perhaps the most profound novel I’ve read in quite some time. It’s a brilliant study on mankind’s place in the universe, why we need companionship, and why we need our parents to love us. If you haven’t read it, I urge you to add it to your queue. It’s rather short (my version clocked in at 190 pages) and worth every second you spend with it.

From the 1994 film "Frankenstein". Yes, that's Robert De Niro.

And that also segues nicely into the Motivation part of this post. Writing is hard. Learning the craft is hard, finding the time is hard, understanding feedback is hard, and it’s very tempting to give up at times. Near the end of the novel FRANKENSTEIN (no spoilers, I promise!) Mr. Frankenstein gives a rousing speech in an attempt to halt a mutiny on a ship. I’ll only quote the first paragraph here, but the entire speech is rather motivational. I’m going to print it out and hang it on my office wall so it’s always nearby whenever I’m feeling the “I can’t do this / this is too hard” gremlins biting at my soul.

“Did you not call this a glorious expedition? And wherefore was it glorious? Not because the way was smooth and placid as a southern sea, but because it was full of dangers and terror; because at every new incident your fortitude was to be called forth and your courage exhibited; because danger and death surrounded it, and these you were to brave and overcome. For this was it a glorious, for this was it an honorable undertaking.” — Victor Frankenstein

Here’s to staying on target for your own Glorious Expedition.

I’ve had this blog for six months now, and this is the first entry where I’m going to talk about what I’m writing.

My novel, tentatively titled A PETAL OF CHRYSANTHEMUM, features the 2011 Tohoku earthquake and tsunami. I started plotting this back in the summer, and began writing in earnest in September. Before the first draft was finished, I knew there wasn’t enough emphasis on that event, but the concept of going back to make substantial changes paralyzed me. To some extent, it still does.

My wife was born and raised in Japan. I spent a great deal of time there myself. Our ties to Japan run deep. We have friends whose hometowns were affected by the tsunami. I remember March 11, 2011 very well. I didn’t get much work done that Friday. While this was simply a tragic event for most everyone I worked with, for me, it was like watching the towers collapse on September 11th. No, more than that. I sat before my computer reading news stories, English and Japanese alike, watching a live stream from NHK television, the images of fire, destruction, flooding, the displaced, all bundling together to drain the joy, the happiness right out of me. My boss even offered to let me go home to be with my family.

Everyone who came to speak with me in my office that day knew I was distraught. The way my eyes wandered, my lips trembled, my words came slowly, softly.

Today my wife shared this video with me, and I’ll admit it–it took the wind out of me just like March 11th. I had to wipe my eyes a time or three. And after viewing this, that’s when I realized that the pervading uncertain feeling I had about my current work in progress had to be confronted.

I’m starting over. Sort of. Imagine reading a book about a fireman in NYC and his various problems with self-loathing and relationship issues. You get halfway through this relationship drama when 9/11 happens. And while the rest of the story is, in fact, a post-9/11 story, don’t you feel that you’ve cheapened the tragedy a bit by padding the beginning with this relationship drama?

The tsunami was real. People suffered and died. Indescribable damage was done to regions of Japan. Entire cities and families were literally washed away by surges of water topping one hundred feet. I can’t go lightly on this. I can’t treat it cheaply. I’m going back and starting with the tsunami, bringing it to the forefront, not relegating it to a background element, a mere an obstacle in my protagonist’s way.

I have to do it right, or not do it at all.